it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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