his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
