I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just google imaged poop.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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