Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
