I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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