I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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