How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
