i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize