remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sext me about skeletons
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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