Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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