Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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