carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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