its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
