They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
