I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
