So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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