dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
