A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
