we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
