can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
nutella sex= disaster
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
