wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
