You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
