Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
