Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
