made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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