I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my shit smells like andre
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
