I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
