i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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