I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
