every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up under a house in Key West
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