I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
