Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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