so that wasnt chicken after all
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
