I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Randomize
