Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
