so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
