new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
