I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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