its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
