He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
