Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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