Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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