She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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