After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
