Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
