Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
