i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
