Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
