Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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