I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
