She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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