The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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