Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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