she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
