So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
