I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
