If that was your dad, he is hot
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
