I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
