Redeem this text for a blowjob
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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